The invisible forces that govern your destiny

Have you ever wondered why money slips through your fingers without explanation, why you keep repeating destructive patterns in relationships, or why setting boundaries feels so hard? We often believe our decisions are completely free and conscious. Yet, from the perspective of Family Constellations and Psychosomatics, the answer lies not only in your personal biography, but in the vast history of your family tree.

Throughout our lives, we operate under "invisible loyalties": unconscious commitments through which we repeat the suffering, illnesses, or financial failures of our ancestors in order to ensure our belonging to the clan. Breaking these silent pacts requires understanding where we draw our vital force from.

The maternal grandmother and the lineage of abundance

In the systemic and phenomenological world, success, the capacity to receive love, and financial abundance flow directly from our inner relationship with the feminine lineage. Biology supports this view: the exact egg from which you were born physically formed inside your maternal grandmother's womb while she was carrying your mother.

Through this connection and mitochondrial DNA (inherited through the Maternal lineage), we absorb the information, the joys, but also the lacks, famines, and emotional traumas experienced by the grandmother. If the grandmother suffered great pain or her grief was not properly processed within the family, the flow of abundance becomes blocked.

Taking life means unconditionally assenting to and honoring the mother and grandmother, with all their sacrifices, so that money and health can flow in the present.

The paternal grandfather and the drive toward the world

If the maternal lineage gives us rootedness and nourishment, the lineage of the men (the father and the paternal grandfather) provides us with the strength, authority, and tools to conquer the outer world.

Healing the "father wound" and integrating the strength of the grandparents grants clarity for logical thinking, assertiveness, and the capacity to set firm boundaries in the face of abusive dynamics in society. An individual who manages to internally say "yes" to their paternal history develops the drive needed to complete their professional projects and achieve independence without fear.

Are you living your own life? The Lying-Down Syndrome and the Sense Project

We do not arrive in the world as a blank canvas. The Dr. Salomon Sellam, an expert in clinical psychosomatics, explains the concept of the "Gestational Sense Project": the emotional context, the unconfessable fears, and the longings of our parents from nine months before our conception through our first three years of life act as a program that strongly influences our adult behavior.

Even deeper is the Lying Figure Syndrome. When a tragic, premature, or unjustified death occurs in the family (an accident, a child, a mother in childbirth), the pain is so brutal that the grieving process becomes blocked. Since the system cannot tolerate voids, a child from a later generation is unconsciously chosen to repair that loss, lending their body and their life to keep the memory of the deceased ancestor alive.

These individuals often feel an existential crushing weight, an attraction to the color black, and the agonizing sensation of "being dead while alive" or living a life that does not belong to them.

The nostalgic brain: why you never forget your first love

Alongside the memory of our ancestors, our own neurobiology creates indelible imprints, the most well-known of which is first love. On a biological level, falling in love for the first time acts on the brain like a true "natural addiction," flooding the system with dopamine (extreme motivation) and oxytocin (attachment).

However, cognitive science explains that we do not forget this event thanks to the "reminiscence peak" (reminiscence bump): a phenomenon by which the adult brain disproportionately encodes, prioritizes, and remembers emotional experiences lived between the ages of 15 and 25. It is within this temporal window — when first love typically occurs — that our brain reaches its peak of development and is actively forming our identity; therefore, the hippocampus records those memories with an intensity and nostalgia that will serve as a template for all future relationships.

The Path to Liberation

Transforming these burdens — both biological and transgenerational — requires letting go of judgment. Through the use of "healing phrases", we are able to return pain to those it belongs to, step out of our role as childhood saviors, and finally take our rightful place in the world:

• "I let you go, rest in peace, and I go on living"
• "I embrace life in its entirety — the beautiful and the difficult"

Because only when we surrender to the past exactly as it was, does life open its doors to a future of success and abundance.