In the standard genogram, a couple's children hang from a horizontal sibling line that branches off the descending generational line. McGoldrick's convention is strict: the visual order goes from left (oldest) to right (youngest). This position is not merely decorative: it encodes the ordinal place within the system.
The ordinal place matters clinically. The firstborn carries different roles than the middle child or the youngest. Changing the visual order when drawing the genogram—"I'll put the male child first even if he was born second"—already distorts the systemic reading.
Here enters one of the most striking divergences from the clinical system: in Hellinger, unborn siblings also occupy their place in the horizontal line. If there was an abortion before the first live child, that first live child is not "the first": they are the second. This rule, called the ordinal place of the lost child, has its own entry in the glossary due to its clinical weight.
Clinical example
A woman grows up feeling "responsible for everything" even though she is an only child. When reconstructing the genogram with her mother, she discovers that there were two abortions before her. In the sibling line, she is the third. This explains the weight of the two empty places she unknowingly carried.
Illustrative case, anonymized and compiled from frequent patterns in Family Constellation sessions.
Bibliography
- Genograms: Assessment and Treatment — Monica McGoldrick, Randy Gerson, Sueli Petry. W.W. Norton, 4th ed., 2020.
- Love's Orders — Bert Hellinger. Herder, 2001.
These books are in the reference library that nurtures Constelando el Origen.
Site articles addressing this topic
Related terms
Clinical Genogram
A standardized family diagram that maps at least three generations using universal symbols (McGoldrick). The visual basis of systemic work.
See entryOrdinal Place of the Lost Child (Hellinger's Rule)
In the systemic system, a deceased sibling —including miscarriages and premature deaths— retains their ordinal place. If there was a miscarriage before the first living child, the first living child is "the second."
See entryAbortion in the Genogram — Conventions
McGoldrick: small filled triangle + cross (spontaneous) or triangle + horizontal line (induced). In Hellinger's reading: sometimes a darkened circle. The divergence is deliberate and clinically significant.
See entryParental Child
A child who assumes the emotional role of an adult —caring for their parents, mediating between them, containing their sadness— thereby breaking the systemic order.
View detailsA session that names what hurts
If you recognize this dynamic in your own history, a Family Constellation can reveal where it comes from and what movement brings order to it. Daniela respectfully accompanies each case.
Sessions in Spanish only