Aborted children —in the broad sense: all children who did not come to term or died very early— are one of the most crucial categories of belonging in the Hellingerian systemic approach. This includes: spontaneous abortions (miscarriages), voluntary abortions, ectopic pregnancies, pregnancies lost due to medical reasons, neonatal deaths (first days), lost twins in multiple pregnancies (vanishing twin), stillbirths.
The systemic rule is emphatic: each of these children, without exception, belongs to the family system. Nothing erases them. When they are not named —a frequent occurrence because the pain of loss often leads families to prefer silence— the system unconsciously assigns a later descendant the task of carrying them: this descendant may manifest inexplicable depression, difficulty conceiving, attraction to death, or a feeling of 'being superfluous' or 'left over'.
How many there can be: medical statistics show that up to 25% of pregnancies end in early loss (many undiagnosed: the woman never even knew she was pregnant). In three generations of a lineage, 8-15 unborn children whose existence the clan ignores can accumulate.
The healing movement: visually including them in the genogram, naming them one by one with the name they could have had (or a symbolic name if unknown), recognizing their ordinal place among living siblings, and letting them go with respect: "To all the siblings who did not come to term: I see you, I honor you, you hold your place in my heart. You may rest.".
Clinical example
A woman appears to be an 'only child'. Discussing with her mother, she discovers: two spontaneous abortions before her, one between her and a later attempt, plus a voluntary abortion never told. Systemically, she is the fourth child, not the first. Reordering the system —naming the four lost siblings— transforms her life in a few weeks.
Illustrative case, anonymized and composed from frequent patterns in Family Constellation sessions.
Bibliography
- Importance of including abortions in the family system (article) — Cristina Cáceres. cristinacaceresmangas.com.
- The Orders of Love — Bert Hellinger. Herder, 2001.
- The Origin of the Symptom — Seeking the Liberating Ancestor — Salomón Sellam. Bérangel, 2008.
These books are in the reference library that nourishes Constelando el Origen.
Site articles that address this topic
Related terms
Abortion in the genogram — conventions
McGoldrick: small filled triangle + cross (spontaneous) or triangle + horizontal line (induced). In Hellinger's reading: sometimes a darkened circle. The divergence is deliberate and clinically significant.
See entryOrdinal place of the lost child (Hellinger's rule)
In the systemic system, a deceased sibling —including abortions and premature deaths— retains their ordinal place. If there was an abortion before the first living child, the first living child is "the second."
See entryVanishing twin syndrome
Early loss of a twin during pregnancy —medically documented in up to 30% of initial multiple pregnancies—. The survivor carries a chronic sense of loneliness and an inexplicable search.
See entryLying-down syndrome (yaciente syndrome)
Concept by Salomón Sellam: a child conceived in unaddressed grief after the death of a loved one. Carries the energy of the deceased and lives emotionally 'lying down,' as if halfway through their own life.
See entryReplacement child (substitute syndrome)
A child conceived to "replace" a deceased or unborn sibling. Bears the identity of the lost member and lives with the feeling of not having a place of their own.
See profileCristina Cáceres Mangas
Spanish Constellator, a reference in systemic work with perinatal grief, abortions, and child deaths. An specialized voice on the most painful side of the method.
See profileA session that names what hurts
If you recognize this dynamic in your own history, a Family Constellation can reveal where it comes from and what movement can bring order to it. Daniela accompanies each case with respect.
Sessions in Spanish only