The wound of humiliation is the third wound in the Bourbeau model. It originates between the first and third year, in relation to the body (physiological needs, nourishment, sphincter control), early pleasures, or the child's basic dignity.
Typical biographical origin: mothers or fathers who severely punished messiness, accidents with sphincter control, natural childhood sexuality, crying, physical clumsiness. Humiliating comments about the child's body ('you're fat,' 'you're ugly'). Family or public ridicule.
Developed mask: the masochist. Body often voluminous (Bourbeau associates it with seeking 'to be seen'), tendency to take on too many responsibilities, difficulty saying no, compulsive need to care for others. The person humiliates themselves before another can humiliate them, thus controlling the pain.
Adult manifestations: relationships where one 'always' ends up carrying the weight, difficulty recognizing one's own pleasurable needs, feeling undeserving of anything good, tendency to sabotage one's own well-being, emotional overweight with its own history.
Healing: recover the basic dignity of the body and legitimate pleasures, learn to say no, release guilt for one's own needs, stop carrying what does not belong to one, reconnect with the body from pleasure and not just from duty.
Bibliography
- The 5 wounds that prevent being yourself — Lise Bourbeau. Diana, 2003.
These books are in the reference library that nurtures Constelando el Origen.
Related Terms
Lise Bourbeau
Canadian author (1941-). She formulated the model of the five wounds of the soul—rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal, injustice.
See profileWound of Rejection (Bourbeau)
The first of the five wounds formulated by Lise Bourbeau. It originates when the child does not feel welcome by the parent of the same gender. Mask: the 'huidizo' (fugitive/withdrawn).
See fileWound of Abandonment (Bourbeau)
The second of the five wounds. It originates between 1 and 3 years old when the child does not receive the necessary emotional nourishment, especially from the parent of the opposite sex. Mask: the 'dependiente' (dependent).
See fileWound of Betrayal (Bourbeau)
The fourth of the five wounds. It originates between 2 and 4 years old when the child feels that the parent of the opposite sex does not fulfill their promise of presence or protection. Mask: the 'controlador' (controller).
See fileWound of Injustice (Bourbeau)
The fifth of the five wounds. It originates between 4 and 6 years old when the child perceives emotional rigidity or disproportionate demands from the parent of the same sex. Mask: the 'rígido' (rigid).
See fileA session that names what hurts
If you recognize this dynamic in your own story, a Family Constellation can reveal where it comes from and what movement brings it into order. Daniela respectfully accompanies each case.
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