The wound of rejection is the first of the five wounds of the soul formulated by Lise Bourbeau. According to her model, it originates in the first year of life when the child does not feel received or welcomed —especially by the parent of the same gender—. It is the most archaic and profound of the five wounds.
Typical biographical origin: unwanted child, unplanned pregnancy experienced with rejection, feeling from the mother or father that they did not want to have children at that time, disappointment with the baby's sex, unfavorable comparison with other children or ideals. The wound is inscribed pre-verbally.
Developed mask: the runaway. The person learns 'not to take up space,' literally and symbolically. Body often thin, with a tendency to 'disappear' visually. Tendency to emotional flight —when something gets complicated, they disappear—. Chronic feeling of not deserving to exist, that their presence is problematic.
Adult manifestations: difficulty making oneself seen professionally, tendency towards relationships where one feels 'unloved' (replication of the original pattern), self-rejection patterns, difficulty in sustaining one's own body and needs.
Healing: recognizing the wound without victimizing oneself, distinguishing between the reality of original rejection and imagined rejections as an adult, occupying one's own space without asking permission, stopping running away when things get complicated, receiving care without feeling undeserving.
Bibliography
- The 5 wounds that prevent being yourself — Lise Bourbeau. Diana, 2003.
These books are in the reference library that nurtures Constelando el Origen.
Related Terms
Lise Bourbeau
Canadian author (1941-). Formulated the model of the five soul wounds —rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal, injustice—.
See entryWound of Abandonment (Bourbeau)
Second of the five wounds. It originates between 1 and 3 years old when the child does not receive the necessary emotional nourishment, especially from the parent of the opposite sex. Mask: dependent.
View fileWound of Humiliation (Bourbeau)
Third of the five wounds. It originates between 1 and 3 years old in relation to the body, pleasures, or dignity. Mask: masochist.
View fileWound of Betrayal (Bourbeau)
Fourth of the five wounds. It originates between 2 and 4 years old when the child feels that the parent of the opposite sex does not fulfill their promise of presence or protection. Mask: controller.
View fileWound of Injustice (Bourbeau)
Fifth of the five wounds. It originates between 4 and 6 years old when the child perceives emotional rigidity or disproportionate demands from the parent of the same sex. Mask: rigid.
See entryInterrupted bond
An early rupture of the bond between a child and their primary attachment figure—usually the mother—that leaves a deep systemic imprint.
See entryA session that names what hurts
If you recognize this dynamic in your own story, a Family Constellation can reveal where it comes from and what movement brings it into order. Daniela accompanies each case with respect.
Sessions in Spanish only